Have You Seen My List?

Please pardon the lack of direction in this post.  I seem to have misplaced my blog idea list.

Last week I had my first appointment at a local charity clinic.  Like a good little patient with a large conglomeration of misalignments, I’d compiled a list of all my medical conditions (at least the ones I could remember), along with the drugs and supplements with the corresponding dosage of each.  On the same page I’d also made notes on a couple of blog ideas.  My plan was to turn in the top half with the medical stuff to the doctor and keep the bottom half with the blog notes for myself, but I don’t remember cutting the paper in half, and I don’t remember seeing my blog ideas since then.  So my guess is the doc got the whole shebang.

Maybe that’s why the nurse wrote down “brain lesion” on my chart.  The doc looked surprised when she saw that and we had to go through my list and figure it out.  The nurse had been confused about AVNRT*.  I tried to explain it was a form of tachycardia but he didn’t quite understand and thought it was a brain lesion.  Either that, or he tried to make sense of my blog notes and gave up.

[Note here that I had a male nurse and a female doctor.  Cool, huh?  Actually she’s a nurse practitioner, but it’s close enough.  When my daughter was a tiny lil puppy, she had a female doctor and a male nurse, too.  I like it when things get turned upside down.  But only deliberately.  It’s not so fun when it happens on accident.]

One way to cope with lupus brain fog is to write everything down, but it doesn’t do any good if you keep losing your lists.  I’m sure it helps even less when one has an imaginary brain lesion.  Don’t I have enough to keep up with in reality?  Now I’m supposed to keep with with imaginary things, too?  Oh, wait, I already do that. It’s called “writing fiction”.

The good news is that the doctor got my brain lesion situation straightened out, so now my medical record says “resolved” after the diagnosis.  Guess that means I’ve been cured.  Shew, what a relief.

Now that the brain lesion is gone**, I’m looking forward to making blog lists and REMEMBERING to keep them instead of giving them to someone else, so next time, which should be on August 17, I can post a carefully crafted blog.  Or maybe I’ll do a pure stream of consciousness wherein I write down exactly what my brain does for oh, say, half an hour.  But then the doc would probably reconsider the “resolved” diagnosis and re-examine me.


* Atrio-Ventricular Nodal Re-entrance Tachycardia.  I don’t blame him for not knowing.  I didn’t even know what it was till I was 45.  I didn’t know I had it till I was 45, and it’s a congenital heart defect, so I’ve had it all my life.  Just one of those things, you know, carrying something around for 45 years and not even knowing it’s there.

** My sincere apologies to anyone who really has a brain lesion.  I’m not sure what it is or does, but I’m sure it’s far more fun when it’s imaginary than when it’s real.  Although it does take second place to the time I had leukemia and was ‘cured’ in less than 24 hours.  But that’s another story.

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