If I only had the guts

Today in Walmart I saw a skeletal young woman wearing a pair of knit shorts that would probably fit my sister’s cat. She had the front of the waistband rolled down, revealing the top of her mons veneris. Now I’ve seen weirder things in Walmart, but I don’t recall having seen that portion of the female anatomy revealed before.

After dodging a gaggle of unattended children who nearly knocked me out of the checkout line, I got to thinking. The law says discrimination is illegal. If that young woman is allowed to dress in such a fashion in public, then so am I. If it’s legal for her, then it’s legal for me. I should buy myself a similar pair of shorts – in a larger size, of course – and roll the waistband down to reveal my anatomy-formerly-known-as private parts. Of course, unlike the animated skeleton in Walmart, both my C-section scar and the fact that I have not recently applied a razor to that particular area would be revealed.

But me? I don’t seem to have the guts. Do you suppose Walmart sells those, too? That might explain the outrageous clientele who appear in their store.

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